Monday 9 March 2015

Find yourself...

   Women: still a responsibility or not?

Be it corporate, or politics or a protagonist in a movie, women are leaving behind men everywhere. Gone are the days when we live in male chauvinism society .Women have already set so many examples for the one who still like to stay in the cocoons and do not like to come out of home or even forced to stay at home.

Be it Mrs Indira Nooyi, Kiran Bedi or some actress, women are setting examples in the society. In the recent interview given by Mrs Indira Nooyi wherein she mentions that she never chooses professional over personal or personal over her professional life. She always tried to manage both. Also she talks about her mother wherein her mother tell when you are into home you are a mother of children and a daughter in law and also a wife.

It is never that hard to manage both of your life once you understand your responsibilities well and understands them and deal with them smartly.

Today also there are females who literally starve to step out of their homes and take breath. Why are we not letting them fly?

I myself some weeks ago heard somebody saying “ladki jyada padegi to shaadi kaun karega”. Is that really important? I agree it is the part of life, but just the part, not the whole life.

Why not to become responsible for that whole life rather than being responsible for just a part of it?
Being a part of democratic country every girl whether a small town or a big town, everybody has right to fly like a free bird, she has right to take her own decision and become responsible for it. Keeping girls in cocoons never served the purpose nor will ever do that. People in certain towns of India start collecting penny just to get them married.

No guys, Wake up! Smell the coffee!

 If you really want to do something for your daughter, give them freedom, let them take their own decisions, do not count their age because they are getting older to get married. We need feminism. You never have to pay somebody to get married to your daughter. Let her make her own identity. Let her face the world and let her tell the world that she does not need anybody. No matter she is 18 or 30 or 40. She does not need boyfriend to take decisions at 18 nor her husband at 30 or 40. She is the owner of her own destiny and only she can rule it.

Everywhere, today we are talking about women power but still not ready to give that power to women. Why is female candidate asked about her marriage plans in an interview but not a male candidate? Is her capability being judged on the basis of getting married or not?

Why are we still making such situations for women wherein she is made uncomfortable?
Scenario has changed so should we. Let’s make things fair for females. Lets her just fly, let her just not judge on what she wear, or on whether she take licker or not, or she smokes. Let just judge her or in fact not judge her at all. Let her live her life, let her party hard, let her smoke, let her take licker.
Let us just see that she is a human being and she has the right to do everything of her will.

SEX: one’s choice or still an orthodox belief.


SEX, such a big word for many of us, Are we staying in a 21st century wherein we say we live in a democratic country, or still in some 19th century wherein parents cannot even talk to their kids about sex.

Sex is one’s choice or still some of us say “shaadi ke pehle paap hai”. This is what exactly some of us say. I was sitting with some group of girls in my college wherein they were gossiping about the girl saying she is not a virgin, and also calling her characterless, OMG! Is that really what we really think?

If a girl is not virgin, she does not have a character and so on. Does sex really has this much power to judge somebody’s character?

I don’t think so; it’s just the expression of love which two people share. It’s just something which happens when both the girl and guy agree to take their relation to further step, or if it’s just the fun then do we have right to judge somebody? If a girl does it, she is characterless, and if a guy does it he is the real dude.

Why are we so Hippocratic? Is that something which is in our blood or this is how our society is?
According to me it is both, some is in our blood and some is given by the society in which we are born and bought up. Why is girl responsible for everything, be it rape, or a sexual harassment.

omg! She wears such short dresses to attract men; this is how we exactly react when we see somebody wearing short dresses. No matter how wrong the guy is, still girl is responsible for everything. Why do we not accept a girl saying a statement “I slept with five men”? Why is that so indigestible?

Nobody has given right to anybody to judge a girl on the basis of her being virgin or not, it is just her life, and her own choice. She can choose whether she wants to have it before marriage or after marriage. Even her would be has no right to ask her whether she did it or not.

If you actually want to be judge, let’s be fair on both the sides. Let’s ask the guy same question and also judge him on the basis of him being virgin or not. Why is it always a girl who always suffers? Let the game be fairer; no matter it’s the girl or the boy.

The questions should be same and also the judgments that we make remains same.

Why is it weird for women to talk to strangers? 
Why are they so paranoid about it?
The girl while travelling in the bus met a guy from the same college, they never had either any conversation before nor seen each other. They started talking to each other for the first time and came to know that they are from same college. Guy after having some healthy conversation suddenly started taking interest in her personal life wherein she mentions she smoke and drink more often. Next day, the guy told all his friends about the girl and mention “ye meri hone wali girlfriend hai”. Is that really how it works for a guy? The girl cannot even have some healthy chat with the stranger even when she finds out they are from same college.

The girl in the college campus was walking with her friends and suddenly her phone buzzed. There was a message update; she stood checking her message update on the phone in the campus when two  guys coming from the other side stopped and asked her for the direction to administration office inside the campus. She happily explained him the route. Both the guys left with the smiling face, she could hear the same guy uttering to the other guy, "Sahi hai bhai. Baat to karli.Itna hi kaafi hai" (English translation: Cool bro! At least she talked to me! That's an achievement too!) 
And then it's expected that girls and young women will be happy to help strangers. Are you kidding me?

The other girl met a stranger in the library. He helped her with a few books and started discussing about each others' taste for books. Both of them were having a very pleasant conversation till the time she mentioned her boyfriend. The moment she told a guy about her boyfriend, the guy lost all his interest in talking to her and left abruptly without telling her the new section of books in the library. Does a guy always start talking to a girl with the intention of becoming her boyfriend?
 And then it's expected that girls and young women will be happy to talk to strangers. Are you kidding me, again? 

Why do we always generalize women on the basis of her talking easily to people or not. If she easily talks to the acquaintances, she doesn’t have attitude and if she does she is characterless. Thoughts of not talking to strangers have been buried in females since they are 3 or 4 years. Such thoughts do not easily go away and also the attitude that men folk show towards the women does not let these thoughts wipe away.

Responses will of course vary from one woman to the other. Some are comfortable talking to strangers and some are not. This perception is usually on the basis of one’s experience in the society she stays in.

What are some of the ways women are discriminated against that men are often unaware of?

Since we are born, we are being discriminated in one way or the other. The most common form of such discrimination is do not speak much with people who are unknown to you or do not laugh unnecessarily. We still bring up women according to the needs of the society for eg. We suddenly started educating our girls because we believe if she doesn’t work, nobody will marry her. This is because the needs of the society have changed; it’s not us who changed suddenly. Women are indoctrinated from a very young age against being their natural selves where that might mean not conforming to society's ideas of what constitutes femininity. These instructions are often rationalised as concern for the woman's safety. The message is that personal expression is secondary to observing certain essential codes of conduct. Only that which remains of a woman after she adheres to these codes is open for personalisation and expression of identity.
Don't sit with your legs apart. Don't stand with your hands on your hips. Don't laugh loudly. Don't do anything that might attract attention to your physical attributes. Speak in a soft voice. Don't hold eye contact. Don't attract attention to yourself. This is what we usually ask them to do.

These are some of the usual thoughts that are buried in us since childhood. All this makes women sensitive towards the society. There are times when a women wants to be like a men but such thoughts does not let her do that.This makes women shrink physically as if to make themselves invisible. They attempt to become smaller, to become less significant. You can see the signs in posture and comportment. You can see it in gait, stride and freeness of gesture. You can see it in the way a woman stands, the way she sits, the self-conscious way she holds her body when she is lying down. You can see it in the limited, hesitant sweep of her eye. Her physical presence is always under leash because she has been told that it is essential for her security and to her value as a woman. Her imprint in the space she inhabits is restricted, superficial and fleeting. It is also a calculated, calibrated and sanitized presence, for being a woman in some cultures implies that you forgo the liberty to take things for granted.
 

There is little to no room for spontaneous expansiveness of being, and even this realisation stifles. I have noticed that this manifests in a chronic hyperawareness, something that little girls initially consider a bother as they tug down their skirts at a parent's remonstrance, but something that eventually becomes second nature, so much so that women forget that they are limiting themselves. Noise becomes white noise. Soon, these little girls grow into women who automatically reach for a scarf to wind around their fronts before they leave home. They know how to hold themselves so they do not stand out, do not scream
 target. They become scrupulously controlled beings who are adept at accomplishing their missions by bartering their liberty in deference to unspoken standards. Where a man might directly see the function of a place he enters, a woman is conditioned to automatically notice codes. One of the great problems with this acclimatisation and eventual numbness is that women so conditioned find themselves in the contradictory position of custodians and enforcers of the very code they initially rebelled against (just as men become used to not seeing these codes because of their own acclimatisation). It is often the mother-in-law who chastises her daughter-in-law about her overly free manner. It is often the mother who frowns at her daughter's lack of decorum. It is often a woman colleague who suggests that another comes across as too assertive. It is often a girl who suggests that her group of girl friends avoid standing by the street outside school lest they attract attention. It is alarming how this conditioning is conveniently self-reinforcing. It pains me to see the way women seem to pull themselves inwards (or put up a habitual exaggerated front of confidence) on our streets, in public transport vehicles, in any public space and in many private spaces. If you're a woman reading this, when was the last time you could let go and just spread your limbs and relax in posture in public? I can see women in quite a few cultures being unable to recollect memories of such freedom beyond childhood. Where I live, men own all the public spaces and many of the private. Yet, they appear singularly unaware of the way women shrink to occupy the spaces they inhabit. Go to any coeducation college here, even the more liberal ones. Stand by a group of young students engaged in casual talk. Observe the body language and posture of the men and the women in the group. The difference will be so startling that it demands attention yet so common that it is ignored.


Holiday checklist for Girls

Travel to far flung destinations anywhere across the country for a unique holiday experience. With everything you need on board to enjoy a relaxing break while being entertained, you can look forward to the frequent trips to the destinations en route.
Choosing the type of destination best suited to your needs is the most important step. Are you looking for a romantic getaway, a family trip, a singles trip or for senior trip? Where would you like to travel to? Cruises vary from short cruises around Europe to longer cruises to more exotic locations such as Asia and the South Pacific, the USA and Canada, Central and South America, Africa and the Middle East, the Caribbean and Mexico, or the Bahamas and Bermuda. You might prefer to go on a transatlantic cruise which means that, instead of an all-round trip, you start your cruise in one place and end up in another without the return trip home. Or perhaps a short break is all you need to unwind by taking a port mini-break in exciting cities such as Buenos Aires or New York. River cruises are particularly popular in Europe, allowing tourists to see parts of cities and towns that couldn’t normally be accessed by the bigger ships. Trips to see Holland’s tulip fields and Germany’s Christmas markets are particularly popular. For nature lovers, an expedition cruise to see wildlife in places such as Alaska and Antarctica is a must!

Packing for holidays is sometimes an absolute nightmare for some girls and usually it end up with a suitcase which is huge. So why not make a checklist of the products that are important to carry. 

Maybe the checklist for what to carry while travelling in the flight, while going on the poolside, while going to the Bedroom, For the bathroom cabinet, Your holiday wardrobe, Makeup and beauty bits.

One such example of the checklist is-
2 sundresses for night and day
Pair of flats, wedges and sexy heels
Pairs of shorts
Skirt
Maxi dress
6 tops
Scarf
Jewellery
Cardie - in case it gets chilly

should always try to pack lightly once you go for a trip. The items which you probably need might be available at your destination. Never forget to carry your essentials along with you where in your checklist might come to a great help now. You yourself are responsible for your valuable. So keep eye on it so as to avoid any theft

So you can make certain checklist and make yourself more comfortable and enjoy your holiday to the maximum and also cannot be a nightmare anymore.

                                                               
 Selfie trend

Whether it is a duck face smirk or close-ups, selfies are the latest fashion that has come up in instagram leaving parents and psychologist wringing their hands on what they “mean”?

Selfies have now become a global phenomenon. Social media feeds are now a day’s full of enlarged eyes, pouts, slimmed -down jaw lines and whitened skin. Selfies has now become a buzz word which has come up in very recent years. The women in Thailand have around 16000 posts on social media and all of then are the selfies.

What exactly Selfies mean?
Do they want to flatter themselves so they want people to talk about them all the time or the want to become popular on social media? The question still remains the question for several psychologists. Another most intriguing trend is: In Japan, women in the gyaru fashion subculture take selfies by tilting their heads down to hide their face so that the spotlight is on their hair and nails In China, a contest for women showing self-portraits featuring their armpit hair went viral, possibly in a backlash to all the glamour shots filling the country's social media. Finally, selfies has left mobile brands competing for their front-facing cameras. China's Huawei applied for trademarks on the term "groufie" to designate group selfies, while South Korea's Samsung embraced the competing term "wefie." Selfie sticks are another big phenomenon: Korea's government has cracked down on ones that use Bluetooth without proper authorization.

Another cultural insight: The people in China take selfies with the brands they aspire most. They take selfies while trying different dresses and post them on the Instagram.

Ever this fad of selfie will get over or not?
For the time, the answer is no. Globally, 2014 has been the big year for selfies.Some social scientist lump the selfie trend-which is more popular among younger social media users- into the larger narcissism that they say is more prevalent among today’s preteens and adolescents, arguing that self-portraits are extension of their self- absorption, while others view it as nothing more than an outlet for self-expression, which just happen to be shared more publicly via the communication mode of our times — social media.

It’s not at all surprising that the ubiquity of social media influence our lives. But the question is-
Is the influence for the better or for the worse?

And of course the answer lies within us.

             Online shopping

Shopping for some girls is a hobby and for some it is a passion. Shopping online is one of the means which has now converted a hobby of some females into passion because of the reason that they find everything of their need into the single roof which has made shopping easier for females. It is one of the best source through which they can shop while relaxing at their home. Working women in their busy schedules do not prefer going out for shopping because of which these portals have become more famous. E- Commerce has become one of the latest trends for girls. They consider it to be the most comfortable source. The report says that 70 percent of females prefer to shop at their favorite stores online. In the spring 2013 survey, 79 percent of teen females and 76 percent of males stated that they shopped online.

Do they consider it to be the comfortable source or the reliable source?
The answer is both. They usually find maximum number of trends under one roof while on the contrary of which they have to roam around for hours or sometimes even days to find one single dress for a party.

The report says 80% of teens prefer shopping at their favourite online stores. Teens are shopping more via the Internet and less at specialty stores. Earlier we see parents taking their kiddoes to the stores and making them shop, but now the scenario has totally changed. Contribution of parents has declined when it comes to shopping both at the upper level and lower lever income groups. Facebook and YouTube are still the favourite social media sites for teens and 53 percent of females and 52 of males indicate that social media impacts their purchases, with Facebook being the most important. Teens are more brands conscious but not necessarily brand loyal. They like to switch to the brand where ever they find best according to the needs and choices. Also the teens like to buy at least prices which they found it on certain occasions.

Distance Education
For flexible learning from the comfort of your own home, you can try correspondence course to enhance your education!
Starting from humble beginnings in the 1840s when Isaac Pitman began his shorthand courses in Great Britain by mail service, correspondence courses are now an extremely popular way for people to study. Corresponding courses means that you can study in your own home, somewhere you can feel comfortable, and the courses are designed so that you can study at your own pace. Correspondence courses have become extremely popular especially for the age group of 18-25.Students on one side want to earn their livelihood and on the other hand want to complete their education. There are many good institutes which are focusing on providing distance education at much affordable fees. Definition of education is changing with the changing mindset of masses. People are becoming more money minded. You can choose whatever course you feel like depending on the choices you want to pick
Various Courses Offered
Once you’ve chosen your preferred course, you’ll receive everything you need to get started in the post then it’s up to you to get stuck in and learn! You’ll have support online from your tutor if you need it and can contact other students via your subject forum online, but your actual course will be completely incorporated in the pack you receive and you can carry on by yourself and at your own pace as you please. With many courses you can complete TMAs (tutor marked assessments) which are either by post or online, while with some more in-depth courses (for example, GCSEs, A-Levels and degrees) you will be required to sit exams.









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